I feel compelled to share this today. I have a dear friend who recently spent several weeks walking the Camino to Santiago pilgrimage. Before her departure I had expressed that I was struggling with some issues of faith. When she returned and asked after my welfare, I sent her the following. It is intimidating to share this on a public forum, as it describes exquisite experiences; exquisitely painful as well as exquisitely sublime. I pray that this may be an answer to prayer, and that readers and commenters will treat me tenderly as I share my wounded heart.
***
While you were on a long physical and spiritual journey I was also on one.
I am still tender and raw from the deep pain I and others feel about disenfranchisement of certain groups in society and the church, but God spoke to me with brilliant clarity, reminding me of His mission for me. I plead for His help to be an activist within the church through preaching His doctrine that as God is no respecter of persons, we must tearfully, prayerfully strive to be so as well. That we must have the humility and courage to invite all to the feast of the Bridegroom, without concern for our own privileges.
I became aware that to truly become as Christ is requires my willingness to deeply and painfully mourn with those who mourn throughout my entire life. When I prayed, “Lord, it hurts so much to watch others suffer; I don’t know if I can continue to do it my whole life” He said to me, simply, “I did.”
And so I stay not only in the Body of Christ (which I am certain includes ALL those who have been baptized in His name) but also as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I am bound to the Godhead by His goodness. I am also bound to the Church through a lifetime of love, beauty and grace I have received through its members, its administration and its scriptures while recognizing how I have been wounded by them.
Nevertheless, I persist.
I am still tender and raw from the deep pain I and others feel about disenfranchisement of certain groups in society and the church, but God spoke to me with brilliant clarity, reminding me of His mission for me. I plead for His help to be an activist within the church through preaching His doctrine that as God is no respecter of persons, we must tearfully, prayerfully strive to be so as well. That we must have the humility and courage to invite all to the feast of the Bridegroom, without concern for our own privileges.
I became aware that to truly become as Christ is requires my willingness to deeply and painfully mourn with those who mourn throughout my entire life. When I prayed, “Lord, it hurts so much to watch others suffer; I don’t know if I can continue to do it my whole life” He said to me, simply, “I did.”
And so I stay not only in the Body of Christ (which I am certain includes ALL those who have been baptized in His name) but also as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I am bound to the Godhead by His goodness. I am also bound to the Church through a lifetime of love, beauty and grace I have received through its members, its administration and its scriptures while recognizing how I have been wounded by them.
Nevertheless, I persist.
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