Counsel With the Lord In All Thy Doings

This is a sacrament talk I gave in October which I had not yet posted.  I have been recently reminded of the importance of its principles in my life.  

I’ve been asked to speak today on prayer, referencing the most recent General Conference.  The first talk, given by Sister Carol F. McConkie, First Counselor in the Young Women General Presidency, is entitled “Prayer Is The Soul’s Sincere Desire.”  The second talk, by Elder Juan A. Uceda of the Seventy, is called “The Lord Jesus Christ Teaches Us How to Pray.”

  Elder Uceda asks “When you pray, are you really praying or just saying prayers? Are you superficial with your prayers?” 

It is all too easy to get caught up in “vain repetitions” (Matthew 6:7) when we pray.  Sometimes, in our busy lives, praying can turn into a task to be marked off on our “church checklist.”  Sister McConkie reminds us that it can be so much more.“For us, miraculous healing, powerful protection, divine knowledge, liberating forgiveness, and precious peace are among the answers that come when we offer up a “soul’s sincere desire” in faith.”

As I prepared for this talk the Holy Ghost taught me much about how to pray and what to pray for, showing me through scripture another amazing blessing that comes from prayer.

In Nephi’s powerful final sermon he teaches the doctrine of Christ, the foundational principles which will lead to our salvation.  He begins by teaching the need for baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost.  Referring to those who have followed the commandments and received these ordinances he says this:  “And now, my beloved brethren, after ye have gotten into this strait and narrow path, I would ask if all is done? Behold, I say unto you, Nay; for ye have not come thus far save it were by the word of Christ with unshaken faith in him, relying wholly upon the merits of him who is mighty to save.

            Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men.  Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life. (2 Ne 31: 19-20)”

Nephi is teaching us that we already have what we need to gain eternal life; those things inspired us to be baptized and will lead us on to live with God again.   They are 1) the word of Christ (both written scripture and personal revelation) 2) unshaken faith in Jesus Christ, including a true, active belief that His atonement applies to us personally and 3) reliance on the merits, strength and power of Christ, which is known as grace. 

Later in his sermon he talks more specifically about the word of Christ “... feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all the things what ye should do (2 Ne 32:3).”

 The Nephite people likely did not have personal, individual copies of scripture.  So when Nephi tells the people to feast upon the word of Christ he was saying feast on communication with the Holy Spirit, on its inspiration and promptings.  Note that Nephi promises us that if we feast upon the words of Christ we will have eternal life. 

Alma speaking to his son Helaman, teaches this same doctrine.

"Yea, and cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever. 

 Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.” (Alma 37:36-37)

How we pray, and what we pray for, literally has the power to ensure our salvation.

Elder Uceda said"Jesus prayed intensely and spoke with His Father. “It came to pass, that Jesus also being baptized, and praying, the heaven was opened” ( Luke 3:21). When you pray, do you feel like heaven is opened? When was the last time you felt that connection with heaven?”

I’ve been studying the principles of the 12-step program as taught in the Book of Mormon with the help of a beautiful workbook called He Did Deliver Me From Bondage.  In this particular process each day there is a scripture from the Book of Mormon relating to that week’s step and a writing prompt to help participants “capture” the words of Christ which the Holy Ghost relays to them personally concerning the principle in their lives. 

Regarding our treatment of personal revelation, Elder Richard G. Scott has said “Inspiration carefully recorded shows God that His communications are sacred to us. Recording will also enhance our ability to recall revelation. Such recording of direction of the Spirit should be protected from loss or intrusion by others.”  The sacred process of writing out God’s words to me has deepened my communication with Him immensely. 

About a week ago I was studying Jacob 4:10, which says “Wherefore, brethren, seek not to counsel the Lord, but to take counsel from his hand. For behold, ye yourselves know that he counseleth in wisdom, and in justice, and in great mercy, over all his works.”  The prompt for this particular scripture is “To counsel means to give advice.  Often when we pray we seek more to advise the Lord in what we think He should do for us or others (“Dear Lord, please bless so-and-so that such-and-such will happen”), than to listen for His counsel or advice.  Write in the form of a question something that has been troubling you, addressing it to the Lord.  Then listen and record the answer you receive.”  

After I read the scripture and the prompt, I hesitated to do it.  I can’t even analyze or understand why, especially since writing questions to God and recording his answers has been a habit of mine for several years, off and on, but for some reason this one made me uneasy.  I think perhaps I didn’t want to face the despair I felt about certain issues.  Later that day, after the kids were in bed and I was getting ready for sleep, I pulled out my journal and wrote.  I’d like to read to you from that entry.

“Heavenly Father, what do I need to do to have meaningful peace? To have order?  Everything feels so chaotic.” And this is what God clearly told me. “Listen.”  And then He said “Pray every morning on your knees to recognize and follow ALL promptings of the spirit.”

In order to follow all the promptings of the Holy Ghost, I would need to surrender my will unto the Father, as Jesus Christ always did.  Elder Uceda discussed this characteristic of Christ in his talk "...today He teaches you and me to pray as we see Him in our minds praying in Gethsemane and saying, “Nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done” ( Luke 22:42 ). When you pray, do you really, truly want that “not my will, but thine, be done?"

How can we do that, surrender our will to God’s?  Sister McConkie teaches one valuable way.  “When we pray with faith, the Holy Ghost can guide our thoughts so that our words harmonize with the will of God.” If we pay attention to the Holy Ghost he will tell us what we should pray for in the very moment we are praying.

Coming back to my personal experience, I felt so grateful that God had given me such a small, simple but powerful direction.  So I started to do it, get out of bed onto my knees and ask that I could have the courage and strength through the grace of his atonement to recognize and follow all the promptings he would give me that day, because I knew without his power there was NO WAY I could do it.  I had been doing it for 4 days and was pretty pleased with the Lord and myself.  I felt so much gratitude for Him helping me do hard things.  I was sitting on the couch in the early evening and I noticed an impression from the Lord “get on your shoes and go for a run.”  To explain a little bit, I’d taken up triathlon after James was born, and lost a ton of weight and learned to really love running, but after I had William life got really crazy.  So I haven’t exercised regularly in 2 years, and I hadn’t gone for a run for 3 months.  So when God told me to go for a run I thought “really, God?”  And he said yes.  Just right then I remembered that we had a super late power bill and that our power was going to be cut off in a few days if I didn’t take care of it.  So I said to God “I’ll go for a run after I pay that bill.” I was hoping that maybe if I put it off a bit I could muster up the energy to go.  I got on the computer and I paid the bill, and I still didn’t really want to go run, so then I did some budgeting, and checked my email, and by then it was dark.  Ugh.  No good.  So I decided not to go for a run, but I felt really awful about it.   The next morning when I prayed, as always, for the grace to hear and obey his promptings, I asked for forgiveness.  “Father, I’m so sorry I didn’t obey that prompting yesterday.  I knew it was a prompting, and I just didn’t want to do it, and I’m so sorry.”  Then God said “It’s ok.  Get on your shoes and go for a run now.”  And I thought “Oh boy.”  I said “Father, I really, really want to do your will.  But I really, really don’t want to go for a run.  The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.  Please, please give me the grace to get up off my knees and change into running gear.  I cannot do it by myself. I’ll do it if you just give me the grace.”  And I knelt there for a bit, and then I got up and changed and went for a run, and it was wonderful.

President Eyring has said:“I have had prayers answered. Those answers were most clear when what I wanted was silenced by an overpowering need to know what God wanted. It is then that the answer from a loving Heavenly Father can be spoken to the mind by the still, small voice and can be written on the heart.”

Sister McConkie shared a quote by Melvin J. Ballard: “It is not only important that we shall know how to pray, but it is equally important that we shall know how to receive the answer to our prayer, to be discerning, to be alert, to be able to see with clear vision and understand with clear intention God’s will and purpose concerning us.”  It is for this reason that the Lord Jesus Christ, when teaching his disciples to pray, told them to “enter into thy closet.”  N. Eldon Tanner taught “First, as the Lord said, the door must be shut against the distractions of the world so that we may concentrate on what we are saying to our Father in heaven.” I would add, and concentrate on what He is saying to us.  This type of sacred, intense prayer is training with the Holy Ghost.  Such training strengthens our ability to communicate with God in such a way that we can maintain that link with Heaven even in moments of confusion, fear, noise, or emergency. 

Going back to the scripture by Nephi.  “...for ye have not come thus far save it were by the word of Christ with unshaken faith in him, relying wholly upon the merits of him who is mighty to save.”

(2 Ne 31:19)

As we pray with real intent, we engage with all three members of the Godhead as we speak to Heavenly Father, reminding ourselves of our relationship to him and acknowledging his supremacy; in the name of Jesus Christ as author of our salvation, advocate to the Father, and source of grace and healing; and through the Holy Ghost, who speaks the words of Christ, that we may have true two-way communication.   

It is through praying always (being constantly connected with and obedient to His Spirit, the Holy Ghost, which tells and shows us all things we should do) and relying wholly on the merits (power) and mercy (forgiveness) of Christ that we come to know and love God the Father and His Son, are born again, becoming a daughter or son of Christ, put off the natural man and become a saint, and receive eternal life. 

I would like to close with a quote from Sister McConkie’s talk.  “When the Lord comes again, will He find a people who know how to pray in faith and who are prepared to receive salvation? “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”  We are children of a loving Heavenly Father, and we may enjoy personal communion with Him when we pray “with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ”  and then act in accordance with the answers we receive by the promptings of the Holy Ghost. In faith we pray, we listen, and we obey, that we might learn to become one with the Father and the Son.” 

I add my testimony to hers, and say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.  

Moses and the Nothingness of Man

As part of my self-care for depression I have begun following the 12-step program as used by Heart-t-Heart, an organization created by LDS addicts which uses an adapted version of the original AA 12 steps. Their 12 steps incorporate specific gospel doctrines from the Book of Mormon, and include scripture references (you know how I love a good citation).

There is a wonderful book called He Did Deliver Me From Bondage which I have been using to guide my scripture study and work through the 12 steps. Step 1 is we admitted that we of ourselves are powerless, nothing without God (Mosiah 4:5, Alma 26:12). As I studied and wrote on today's scripture I had many powerful insights that helped resolve some of the frustrations and questions I've had regarding that phrase and idea, "the nothingness of man." What follows is my journaling and study.

Moses 1:10 “And it came to pass that it was for the space of many hours before Moses did again receive his natural strength like unto man; and he said unto himself: Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed.”

Prompt: Why do you suppose we resist relying on God's power and choose to lean, instead, on self and the answers the world provides?

*Sigh* My brain is swirling on this one, but it's hard to pin anything down.  I still struggle with the idea of man being nothing, because if we are creations of God, his literal spiritual children, how can we be nothing?

God takes Moses up to a high mountain, and talks to God face to face.  He teaches him these principles (v3-6): 1) God is Endless, 2) and Moses is his son.  3) God cannot show the entirety of his works to any man without them being translated (? doesn't seem consistent with Abraham, Nephi - needs further study). 4) Moses is in similitude of Christ 5) Christ IS AND SHALL BE the Savior, full of Grace and Truth 6)but there is no God beside God the Father, 7)who knows all things.

(v8) God then shows Moses the whole world, and "all the children of men which ARE and which WERE created."  Does this mean all of Father's spiritual children? Did Moses see me?  Or does it mean which had up to Moses' time been born on the earth?

v9 God's presence and glory leave Moses and he falls to the earth.

v10 After many hours Moses receives strength and then says "Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed."  Why did his encounter with God, who says Moses is his son, and his vision of the earth, leave him with the sense that man is nothing?  

v11 "But now mine own eyes have beheld God; but not my natural, but my spiritual eyes, FOR MY NATURAL EYES COULD NOT HAVE BEHELD; FOR I SHOULD HAVE WITHERED AND DIED IN HIS PRESENCE but his glory was upon me; and I beheld his face, for I was transfigured before him."   

*THE KEY IS UNDERSTANDING THE ABSOLUTE POWER OF GOD, and the temptation to worship fleshly things.   Because Moses knows he is not nothing, when Satan comes calling (v12-18) he rebukes Satan by claiming his spiritual birthright (v13) "Who art thou? For behold, I am a SON of GOD, in the similitude of His only Begotten; AND WHERE IS THY GLORY, THAT I SHOULD WORSHIP THEE?"

God has given Moses an understanding of God's real nature, Man's real nature, and therefore he (Moses) understands Satan's nature.  Despite the weird paradox of man being both nothing and a son of God, and how that seems to blow my mind, the understanding of that gives Moses a sure and true knowledge of who he is, and enables him to access God's power and wisdom and avoid Satan's snares.  Moses commands Satan to leave.

Satan then rants and cries with a loud voice (v19) and Moses begins to FEAR EXCEEDINGLY (v20) and sees the BITTERNESS OF HELL.  He calls upon God, receives strength, and commands Satan to leave.  (v21) He then commands Satan to leave in the name of the Only Begotten, and it is at that point that Satan does, in fact, with weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth, leave.  

So.  Back to the prompt. Why do we resist relying on God's power and choose to lean, instead on self and the answers the world provides?  Because we don't always remember our relationship to God, our inherent value as his children and our similarities to and shared experience with Christ, and because through Satan's power of FEAR we experience the bitterness of hell (separation from God).  It is this natural, carnal tendency to forget and disengage from God in the absence of continual, vigorous study and application of the Gospel of Jesus Christ which separates us from the power and mercy of God.  

I've come to really dislike it when we as saints use the phrase "the world."  We often say it somewhat dismissively, cordoning ourselves as LDS people off as Zion and all other people as "the world."  It's prideful and deceptive.  I’ve come to feel that a more useful phrasing would be either “temporal influences” or “Satan’s influence,” depending upon which is applicable.  Because, often, philosophies, programs, products, medications, are neutral.  It is the use to which they are put which enters the spiritual realm.  Am I using cognitive behavioral tools with a grateful heart, under the influence of the spirit, to assist me in my discipleship?  Those tools then become consecrated, holy, in that use.  Or am I using them in an effort to attempt to solve my problems on my own, bolster my pride, appear to be powerful and capable of myself, all the while denying God the opportunity to strengthen, uplift and direct me?  Those same tools are then being used for evil.  Essentially, the question becomes is it the arm of flesh or the arm of the spirit I am using to choose and wield the tools available in the world?

He Did Deliver Me from Bondage, and the 12 steps of Heart t' Heart, are helping me to retain that remission of sins and rely on the arm of the spirit. I am so, so grateful for these tools which have helped me stay engaged with the gospel daily. I highly recommend Colleen's book He Did Deliver Me From Bondage to ALL latter-day saints, not just those who knowingly struggle with addictive or compulsive behaviors, because at its heart it is a simple, lovely way to bring us to the Savior of the World. Because, indeed, it is not only those whose lives have become unmanageable due to compulsive addictive behaviors who are powerless without God, and need Him, and need to understand how much they need Him and what he can truly do for and with us; those things are true of all humankind.

Info On He Did Deliver Me From Bondage
Info on Heart t' Heart, an LDS community based 12-step recovery program 

The Bowels of Mercy and the Body of Christ

I recently gave a talk in church, at my request, on a topic of my choosing.  I am sharing it here as a tribute to those who are mourning the loss of loved ones to violence, and who are striving to create a just and peaceful society.  I pray that I can publish peace.  

My favorite scripture is Alma 7:11-12 and speaks of Christ.  “And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.  And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.” 

It’s difficult to describe my feelings about this scripture.  It fills me with awe that a perfect, sinless man with power over death and pain would choose to experience pain, affliction, temptation, sickness, and death.  It also fills me with hope and gratitude.  I have reflected on this scripture after the unexpected death of my younger sister, during childbirth, while struggling with temptation to return to sins from my past, and when severely depressed and suicidal.  What a beautiful mystery that Christ truly knows and understands me, that somehow he felt the pains of all humanity, and specifically of women. 

Recently as I studied the account of Christ’s experience in Gethsemane I noticed some interesting details.  I will read from the Mark 14 version. 

32 And they came to a place which was named Gethsemane: and he saith to his disciples, Sit ye here, while I shall pray.

 33 And he taketh with him Peter and James and John, and began to be sore amazed, and to be very heavy;

 34 And saith unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful unto death: tarry ye here, and watch.

Let’s pause here to consider for a moment.  Jesus took all the apostles to the garden, but brought only Peter, James, and John, those closest to him and the future leadership of the church, into the garden with him.  Then he begins the work of the atonement, and notice the phrasing, he “began to be sore amazed.”  Experiencing the sensations of fallen man took him by surprise.  He felt fear for the first time.  He then asks Peter, James and John to stay with him and watch.  Why?  Is it because he wants companionship in his suffering?  I believe that’s true, but only a part of the reason.  Continuing in Mark:

 35 “And he went forward a little, and fell on the ground, and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him.

 36 And he said, Abba, Father, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me: nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt.

 37 And he cometh, and findeth them sleeping, and saith unto Peter, Simon, sleepest thou? Couldest not thou watch one hour?

 38 Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter into temptation. The spirit truly is ready, but the flesh is weak.”

What temptation would they enter into by not watching and praying?  I believe it is the temptation to turn away from other’s suffering.

 39 And again he went away, and prayed, and spake the same words.

 40 And when he returned, he found them asleep again, (for their eyes were heavy,) neither wist they what to answer him.

His most beloved and committed friends were unable to stay awake and watch with him, and they didn’t know what to say to him.  After this he prays one more time.  Only the Father can succor him in this.  

Lorin K. Hansen describes this part of the atonement.  

“It is not Jesus suffering per se that redeems men and women.  Suffering has an effect on him, and it is that effect or change that makes possible human redemption. The power of redemption comes through his expanded knowledge and sensitivity, which he then expresses through his role as mediator…the atonement not only reconciled humanity to God but God to humanity.”

           In an article in BYU studies quarterly entitled “Bowels of Mercy” John Durham Peters expounds on this concept of following Christ in his willingness to suffer with others.

To feel the pain of others is physically impossible but morally imperative.  How can humans break out of the shell of private sorrow?  …  The problem of mortal life, for Amulek, is that all are hardened and thus destined to perish (Alma 34:9). “Hardening” suggests many things – to harden in pride, in sin, in will—but all of these suggest the hardening of the self.  Hardening might be precisely the quality of individuality that makes every person solely responsible for his or her own sins and immune to the sufferings of others.  If we persist in our hardness, according to Amulek, our pain is destined to be absolutely incommunicable.  If not, then we have the opportunity to encounter a being, Christ, who can bridge the gap…Christ died, then, in part, to save us from ourselves.  One purpose of the Atonement is to soften us, to make us able to feel viscerally each other’s sorrows.

By suffering infinitely, Christ brought about the bowels of mercy in many respects.  Consider the climactic verse of Amulek’s great discourse in Alma 34:15; “This being the intent of this last sacrifice, to bring about the bowels of mercy, which overpowereth justice, and bringeth about means unto men [and women] that they may have faith unto repentance.”  Attention has been focused on the marvelously suggestive notion of providing “means for faith unto repentance,” but perhaps the even more important phrase in this passage is “the bowels of mercy.”  Whose bowels these are is wonderfully unclear.  These bowels of mercy are “brought about” on many levels—for God the Father surveying the sinful human family, for God the Son pleading for them, and for penitent people, who recognizing the mercy they have received, are able to break through the self-enclosure of pain and succor others.

This, I think, is one of the meanings of Christ’s injunction given to the Nephites – “And ye shall offer a sacrifice unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit” (3 Nephi 9:20).  Until this week I have thought that broken heart referred to sorrow for my sins, and for my contribution through my sins to the suffering of Christ.  Yet that experience is covered through the phrase “contrite spirit.”  I believe a more powerful kind of broken heart is the heart that is broken with the pain and suffering of others, the one that has truly and wholly, through the mysterious and glorious atonement of Christ, mourned with those that mourn (Mosiah 18:9). 

            In a devotional in February 2015 entitled “Ye Are the Body of Christ,” Professor Greg Klingler, a Physician’s Assistant and professor in the BYU-I Department of Health, described an experience which helped him better understand the call to go to the rescue.  A young woman named Emily had suffered for years with severe abdominal pain despite medical tests and treatment.  After prayerful consideration and medical examination Brother Klinger ordered tests and Emily received surgery which restored her to completely normal function.  After describing this experience, he goes on to say:

When one part of the body is afflicted, the whole body feels it, and we are not whole until all members of the body are whole.

In Corinthians chapter 12, the Apostle Paul uses the body as an analogy to refer the church of Christ.

“For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free. For the body is not one member, but many. If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? And if they were all one member, where were the body? But now are they many members, but one body.”

When we are baptized we become a member of the body of Christ. Each member of the body is given important gifts, and talents. Some taste, some hear. Some are eyes, and some are hands. God set the members, “every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him.”

Going back to Corinthians: “And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you. And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.”

When Emily had gallbladder disease, her hands were fine. Her eyes, ears, mouth, and her cognitive functions were perfect… Could I have said, ‘because your gallbladder is afflicted, but your eyes are fine, I am going to forget about the gallbladder and all of its problems and care for the eyes? Of course not!

In fact we learn it is upon those members of the body that are in need that we give more care.

“And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness.

For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked.”

Do you see the vision? When one of us suffer, we all suffer. We are not whole until every member is whole.

Many times I have gone to those that are wounded and approached these individuals with the attitude of ‘I love you. And because I love you, I want you to feel of the blessings I feel through obedience.’ Although that may be the case, that is not the doctrine that will lead to significant change in that person’s life. The doctrine is this: when you were baptized you became a member of the body of Christ. You are part of His body and I am part of the body. We need the gifts and talents, only you bring. We need you like our own bodies need the hands, feet, eyes, and ears. And we, the body, are not whole without you.

To those able and willing to go to the rescue, this will be our message, ‘We love you, the Lord loves you, and we need you.’ 

Elder Robert C. Gay, of the first quorum of the seventy, spoke at BYU graduation last year about embracing the marginalized. 

Today we have great divisions before us. Within and without the Church there exist real stumbling blocks. Outside we are pressed daily by violence, invasion of individual liberty, discrimination, poverty, immorality, disease and so much more. Inside the Church many struggle to reconcile and understand same-gender attraction, the role of women, or certain Church doctrines or history. Many struggle with doubt, lack of confidence or resources, zealousness, commitment, meeting schedules, leaders who offend, friends or children who stray, prayers that seem unanswered, and broken trusts through emotional, physical or sexual abuse.

Some would like to ignore or diminish these issues by contending with those that challenge our orthodoxy; or by delivering dismissive sermons; or by saying to those that struggle temporally or spiritually with doubt or depression to “just be patient, things will work out.” The Lord, however, expects much more of us than words. He expects our personal ministry despite discomfort or any personal rejection. He expects an outreach of charity. He expects us to go into the “highways and byways” of people’s lives and to bring them to the Sacred Grove and to Gethsemane and Calvary.

The scriptures teach us that Jesus showed forth “an increase of love” to those He rebuked and to those that denied Him. Against norms, he dined with sinners and ministered to the outcast, the grieved, and unbeliever. There is nothing that has more power to affect our lives than the pure love of Christ, which is charity. Charity, looks beyond self, choosing to “bear” and “endure all things.” If we live without charity, if we live indifferently, our Heavenly Father says “[we] are nothing.” That is, we live a life of vanity. 

As described in John, the night of the Atonement began with the Savior commanding the disciples to make and renew a covenant to always remember and honor His sacrifice. He then knelt down and washed the feet of those who would in a few short hours betray Him, deny Him or fall asleep in His most needed hour. He never condemned for this but exhorted them to be one with Him; to forgive; to wash the feet of others; and to love their neighbors as He loved them. He asked that we raise our vision to His vision.

Can you see that the great charge of the Atonement is to love as He loved?

To love those who betray, who offend, who fall asleep, who deny, who doubt, who are zealous and cut off an ear with a sword or a heart with a harsh deed; to be longsuffering with those who will not hear and who will not love back.

I keep in a frame on the wall in my home office these words of Elbert Hubbard: “God will not look you over for medals, degrees or diplomas but for scars.”

This is the pattern that Jesus places before us as we work to do His work to lift others: we will be called upon to suffer innocently, if we are to achieve what He needs us to achieve as His light before men.

I would like to close by further quoting Elder Gay.  I add my testimony and prayer to his and pray that I may be led to comfort those who stand in need of comfort.

As you leave this [meeting today], may you do so with the resolve to live as a witness for Christ by letting your light “shine before [humankind].” May you know that this will require you to “hear Him” and to bear with love the outcast, the enemy, the marginalized. May you understand that this is not a journey into the known but the unknown—it is a path of faith and integrity to the voice of the Holy Ghost that ultimately demands your sacrifice to be more than just good or less sinful, but to become holy and consecrated.

I say these things in the name of our Savior, even Jesus Christ, Amen. 

First Seek to Obtain My Word

 I am so excited about my #40daysoflovewins journey - God inspired me with something I can DO to be an influence of love. That study and practice is creating miracles in my life.  Yet I am noticing Satan's constant efforts to deceive and distract me. Every morning I wake up thinking about what I might post on Facebook.  This desire, to spread love and light and knowledge and understanding, is a righteous yearning which God has planted in me.  Satan attempts to warp this desire, to make it about me, or about convincing others through my profundity.  I find myself checking my phone frequently, wondering how many 'likes' my status has.  And most disturbingly, I find myself opening the Facebook app before my Gospel Library app.

This morning I humbled myself, opened up my Gospel Library, started a "My Prayers" notebook, and prayed earnestly to God in writing.  I recognized the strength of the natural man in me and pled for Him to help me put it off.  As I prayed, D&C 11:21 came into my mind. "Seek not to declare my word, but first seek to obtain my word, and then shall your tongue be loosed; then, if you desire, you shall have my Spirit and my word, yea, the power of God unto the convincing of men."

So I sought.  I asked God to lead me to the scriptures I should study.  The answer was unmistakably clear, and as I studied the subject he had brought to my mind I was blessed with precious insights spoken to my mind and heart. This light was for me.

And then I started having thoughts I feel prompted to share about this principle of the Gospel - that of seeking to obtain his word.  The internet and social media provide amazing opportunities to declare the word.  The LDS church is engaged in multiple media outlets, sharing and declaring the doctrine. I sometimes forget that the Apostles of God seek to study his doctrine and to know his will, and only act to declare it to the church and the world when they have received tutoring from God to their hearts of the principle and how to act.

Can we, as a church, follow that principle?  Can I?  

D&C Section 11 teaches the process of spiritual enlightenment and how to have the power of God unto the convincing of men.

12 And now, verily, verily, I say unto thee, put your trust in that Spirit which leadeth to do good—yea, to do justly, to walk humbly, to judge righteously; and this is my Spirit.

 13 Verily, verily, I say unto you, I will impart unto you of my Spirit, which shall enlighten your mind, which shall fill your soul with joy;

 14 And then shall ye know, or by this shall you know, all things whatsoever you desire of me, which are pertaining unto things of righteousness, in faith believing in me that you shall receive.

 15 Behold, I command you that you need not suppose that you are called to preach until you are called.

 16 Wait a little longer, until you shall have my word, my rock, my church, and my gospel, that you may know of a surety my doctrine.

 17 And then, behold, according to your desires, yea, even according to your faith shall it be done unto you.

 18 Keep my commandments; hold your peace; appeal unto my Spirit;

 19 Yea, cleave unto me with all your heart, that you may assist in bringing to light those things of which has been spoken—yea, the translation of my work; be patient until you shall accomplish it.

 20 Behold, this is your work, to keep my commandments, yea, with all your might, mind and strength. 
     
 21 Seek not to declare my word, but FIRST seek to obtain my word, and then shall your tongue be loosed; then, if you desire, you shall have my Spirit and my word, yea, the power of God unto the convincing of men.

What if every time we received counsel from our church leaders we enacted this principle? What if every time we see something on the internet that angers, confuses, frustrates, or saddens us we follow this principle? What if we enacted this principle in ALL of our interactions in life?

I have seen that every time I follow this principle I am blessed with humility, joy, knowledge, faith, and peace.  Those are great blessings.  The even greater blessing I have experienced is that every time I follow this process God very clearly prompts me with what I need to do.  More often that not that action is outside of my comfort zone, and contemplating it makes me feel queasy.  Yet if I am willing to follow the prompting even while feeling uncomfortable and queasy, I am always blessed with courage, and with confidence before God.  

Joseph Smith received the revelation of D&C 11 in May of 1829.  Nearly 10 years later, in March of 1839, the Lord reminded Joseph of this principle when the prophet came to the Lord while in Liberty jail, pleading for God to bring vengeance on the enemies of the church.

"Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven." (D&C 121:45)

It is significant to me that when Joseph cried unto God in the agony of his soul for relief and for vengeance that God first spoke peace to him, and then taught him that although many are called, few are chosen because of the tendency to unrighteously exercise control, dominion, and compulsion.  

I have personally experienced the fulfillment of the promise God made to the Prophet Joseph in Liberty jail.  I pray to have a greater desire and capacity to first seek to obtain the word.  I am confident that as I do this I will witness miracles in my life, and in the world at large.  

Humble myself as a little child

Today's scripture study: Matthew 18:1-4, the greatest in the kingdom of heaven is he who humbles himself as a little child. 

I was discussing this Sunday with friends, and how I as a parent of 5 young children always laugh when I hear children described as humble.  Kids aren’t saints – oh the pride of the gifted 8 year old who feels herself above her peers! (That was me.  And possibly one of my children.)  My friend Keith (who had taught a Sunday School lesson on this earlier in the day which I had missed) was sharing his desire to really understand why the Savior called a child over and put him in the center of his disciples. What was he really trying to teach? It seemed that as usual the class discussion had only tantalizingly hinted towards a deeper meaning. 

So I searched for more understanding and I discovered a few significant things:

1) In verse 3 it says "Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven."  The necessity for conversion is mentioned first.  Hmm.  The same pattern is found in Mosiah 3:19 and Moroni 8:10.  Still working on this one – I think Moroni 8:25-26 are significant in showing the process of how conversion/repentance and baptism/becoming a saint through the atonement of Christ lead to the development of childlike humility. 

2) The greek verb translated in this passage to mean humble is Tapeinoō, which means to make/bring low, abase, assign to a lower rank or place.  So, what was the rank/place of children in the time of Christ? I don’t yet know-that’s for another day.  This cultural insight will surely enhance my understanding.

3) Qualities of children the prophets counsel us to emulate are their sincerity in prayer, their unabashedness to speak their minds, and their total trust in their teachers.  In addition, the fundamental simplicity of the Gospel can be understood by children.

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1984/04/the-simplicity-of-gospel-truths

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1988/04/without-guile

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/10/even-a-child-can-understand

(I found these talks using the LDS Scripture Citation Website - all I can say about it is that it's AMAZING.  TRY IT!!! I also have the app on my phone.)

4) Qualities I personally find universal in children – tender hearts and an unquenchable desire to understand. Children feel deeply for others in critical matters.  And have an endless supply of “Why?”

As always, the Lord is blessing me with exactly what I need – I have centered my parenting focus lately on noticing my children’s virtues and good deeds, and acknowledging them.  Continuing to ponder the significance of humbling myself as a little child will surely give me a boost in that respect.  Which is a mercy, because I gotta say, this particular parenting practice is not in my nature.  Yet.    

The wasteland and the Feast

I was reading the book Grace Works by Robert L. Millett today and the Lord blessed me with an amazing revelation and understanding.  In explaining this I'm going to try to walk through the process that got me there.

Brother Millett explains atonement by going back to the original language "In Hebrew the word translated into English as atone means "to cover."  Jesus atones for our sins in that he forgives them and thereby covers them, as a cloth might cover a table.  Through the blood of Christ, our stains are removed, erased, blotted out of the memory of the Omniscient One (D&C 58:42).  In addition, the Savior covers our sins in the sense that he pays the price, much as we might say to a friend at a restaurant, "I'll cover it.""

He later goes on to quote from 2 Nephi 9:50-51: "Come, my brethren, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters; and he that hath no money, come buy and eat; yea, come buy wine and milk without money and without price.  Wherefore, do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy.  Hearken diligently unto me, and remember the words which I have spoken; and come unto the Holy One of Israel, and feast upon that which perisheth not, neither can be corrupted, and let your soul delight in fatness."  (Italics and bolding mine).

And this is when I saw it.  I have been as a woman who, invited to the feast of a dear friend, resolves to find all the food I possibly can in the wasteland before I show up to the feast, and it is only after my most diligent efforts to fill myself fail that I knock at the door of the feast in shame, remaining hesitant in the doorway, accepting only a few scraps from the table.

NO MORE.  

I will GLADLY accept the invitation of Christ and FEAST with him.  I WILL DELIGHT IN FATNESS!  I have been trying desperately to "deserve redemption" through works, which in a way makes sense because I'm a really, really good worker, and my primary love language is acts of service.  It is not that I do not appreciate the gift of the Savior, the unspeakably miraculous atonement, but rather that because I love him I want to serve him.  And it isn't that I have ignored the counsel of Nephi to "[Feast] upon the words of Christ" (2 Nephi 31:20).  I do feast upon the words of Christ, some days partaking of great banquets, and other days grazing liberally throughout the day when I don't have time for a sit-down dinner, so to speak.

But I have been fasting from Grace.  The Bible Dictionary (in the LDS King James Version of the Bible) states this about Grace "The main idea of the word is divine means of help or strength, given through the bounteous mercy and love of Jesus Christ.  It is through the grace of the Lord Jesus, made possible by His atoning sacrifice, that mankind will be raised in immortality, every person receiving his body from the grave in a condition of everlasting life.  It is likewise through the grace of the Lord that individuals, through faith in the Atonement of Jesus Christ and repentance of their sins, receive strength and assistance to do good works that they otherwise would not be able to maintain if left to their own means."  It is this enabling power, this gift of divine strength, wisdom, support, revelation, and love, of which I have been starving myself.  And now that I have started to partake of grace, pray for grace, glory in grace, my life has become rich and happy in a way that I realize I can only maintain through constant reliance on Him and grateful, humble requests for His power to do His work.

Delight in fatness, brothers and sisters.  As for me and my house, we will come and feast and drink and rejoice in and with Him every day, and glory in it.