We Believe in Being Chaste

This is the text of a sacrament talk I gave on September 10, 2017, with minor changes (I was less explicit about my challenges in the sacrament talk in sensitivity to the all ages audience). When I was invited to talk on chastity I was initially uncomfortable and disappointed, because of my longtime struggle with chastity, and because I really wanted to talk about how Moroni's promise in the Book of Mormon is a 3-verse manual on how to come to Christ. As I studied and gathered material the Lord made it clear that He had called me specifically to speak on chastity because of my willingness to share my personal struggles and my experience of becoming a saint through the atonement of Jesus Christ through Moroni's promise. It is part of my personal mission on earth to replace the unique shame and stigma that exists in the church surrounding sexual abuse, sexual sin and pornography addiction with healing unity and compassion in the body of Christ. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to do so through this talk.

Please share any of this you would like. The message of the abused being innocent, and the guilty healed by Christ, needs to be clearly taught in our homes and congregations.

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The talk on which my address will be based is “We Believe in Being Chaste,” given by Elder David A. Bednar in the April 2013 General Conference.  I am honored and humbled to have the opportunity to speak on such a holy and sensitive topic, and I pray that I may teach by the Spirit and you may learn by the Spirit that we may all be edified together.

In this talk I will address three aspects of chastity.  Firstly, What is chastity? Secondly, Why is it important?  And thirdly, how do we protect, maintain, and regain chastity?

WHAT: Regarding what chastity is, President Spencer W. Kimball has given a clear definition: “We urge, with Peter, ‘… Abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul.’ (1 Pet. 2:11.) No indecent exposure or pornography or other aberrations to defile the mind and spirit. No fondling of bodies, one’s own or that of others, and no sex between persons except in proper marriage relationships. This is positively prohibited by our Creator in all places, at all times, and we reaffirm it. Even in marriage there can be some excesses and distortions.”   This counsel is precise regarding those things we absolutely must abstain from, and invites married couples to seek together the counsel of the Lord regarding how to conduct their sexual relations.

In discussing what the law of chastity is, it is critical to note what it is not.  Chastity is what you do; not what is done to you.  I repeat; chastity is about what you do, not about what is done to you.  Chastity and virtue CANNOT be taken from you.  It is impossible.  Chastity and virtue can only be given up by choice, by intentional action.  

Unfortunately, this concept is not always clearly taught in our congregations.  Even our most holy book, The Book of Mormon, can be confusing on this issue.  In Moroni 9 in referring to the great evil of the Nephites, it describes the treatment of female Lamanite prisoners as “depriving them of that which was most dear and precious above all things, which is chastity and virtue…” For many years I struggled to understand this verse.  As I prepared for this talk the Lord blessed me with understanding.  I believe that this particular wording is intended to describe sexual violence in a discreet way, rather than using more disturbing terms.  

We are blessed through latter-day prophets to have unequivocal doctrinal statements regarding this.  In the manual True to the Faith, it says this “If you have been a victim of rape or other sexual abuse, whether you have been abused by an acquaintance, a stranger, or even a family member, you are not guilty of sexual sin. Know that you are innocent and that your Heavenly Father loves you.

Pray for the peace that comes only through Jesus Christ and His Atonement (see John 14:27; 16:33). The Savior has experienced all your pains and afflictions, even those caused by others, and He knows how to help you.” (True to the Faith, Abuse, underline added)

WHY: Having gained a thorough understanding of what chastity is (and is not), we are prepared to examine why the Lord has given the law.  This is the focus of Elder Bednar’s talk.  He begins by explaining that the law of chastity must be understood within the larger context of the Lord’s plan of happiness, and that we all lived with God as His spirit children before coming to earth to gain physical bodies and mortal experience, and to progress toward exaltation.  

Elder Bednar goes on to describe the necessity of gaining a body “Our physical bodies make possible a breadth, a depth, and an intensity of experience that simply could not be obtained in our premortal existence.  Simply stated, there are lessons we must learn and experiences we must have, as the scriptures describe, “according to the flesh”.”

The first commandment given to Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden was to multiply and replenish the earth, referring to their ability and responsibility to have children and provide the opportunity for all of God’s children to receive physical bodies.  Elder Bednar says “The commandment to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force today. Thus, marriage between a man and a woman is the authorized channel through which premortal spirits enter mortality. Complete sexual abstinence before marriage and total fidelity within marriage protect the sanctity of this sacred channel.  The power of procreation is spiritually significant. Misuse of this power subverts the purposes of the Father’s plan and of our mortal existence.” (italics added)  Elder Bednar goes on to describe the standard of chastity we previously discussed.

Next, he discusses our dual natures as fallen children of God “To some degree, the natural man described by King Benjamin is alive and well in each of us (see Mosiah 3:19). The natural man or woman is unrepentant, is carnal and sensual (see Mosiah 16:5; Alma 42:10; Moses 5:13), is indulgent and excessive, and is prideful and selfish. ‘In contrast, the “man [or woman] of Christ” (Helaman 3:29) is spiritual and bridles all passions (see Alma 38:12), is temperate and restrained, and is benevolent and selfless. Men and women of Christ lay hold upon the word of God, deny themselves and take up His cross (see Matthew 16:24; Mark 8:34; Luke 9:23; D&C 56:2), and press forward along a straight and narrow course of faithfulness, obedience, and devotion to the Savior and His gospel.

As sons and daughters of God, we have inherited divine capacities from Him. But we presently live in a fallen world...we are dual beings, for our spirit that is the eternal part of us is tabernacled in a physical body that is subject to the Fall. As Jesus emphasized to the Apostle Peter, “The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matthew 26:41).

“The precise nature of the test of mortality, then, can be summarized in the following question: Will I respond to the inclinations of the natural man, or will I yield to the enticings of the Holy Spirit and put off the natural man and become a saint through the Atonement of Christ the Lord ?(see Mosiah 3:19) That is the test. Every appetite, desire, propensity, and impulse of the natural man may be overcome by and through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.”(bold added)

He goes on to discuss the intent of the adversary.  It is Satan’s desire to have us all become “miserable like himself” (2 Ne. 2:27) “Because a physical body is so central to the Father’s plan of happiness and our spiritual development, Lucifer seeks to frustrate our progression by tempting us to use our bodies improperly.”

What are the blessings of remaining chaste, and which Satan desires us to forfeit? President Marion G. Romney declared: “I can think of no blessings to be more fervently desired than those promised to the pure and the virtuous. Jesus spoke of specific rewards for different virtues but reserved the greatest, so it seems to me, for the pure in heart, ‘for they,’ said he, ‘shall see God’ (Matt. 5:8). And not only shall they see the Lord, but they shall feel at home in his presence. “Here is … the Savior’s promise: ‘Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God’ (D&C 121:45)” (“Trust in the Lord,” Ensign, May 1979, 42).”

Blessedly, when we err and sin against this or any other law, we have been provided the way to be made clean and whole through the grace and atonement of Jesus Christ.  

HOW: The question then becomes, how do we access and engage the power of the atonement of Jesus Christ to protect, maintain, and regain our chastity? How do we put off the natural man and become a saint through Jesus Christ?  In 2 Nephi 31 and 32 Nephi teaches the doctrine of Christ, that we must be willing to keep the commandments of the Father and be baptized, and continue to exercise faith in Christ “...for ye have not come thus far save it were by the word of Christ with unshaken faith in him, relying wholly upon the merits of him who is mighty to save.  Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men…”(2 Nephi 31:19-20)

We must rely wholly, meaning entirely, on the merits (capabilities, strengths) of Jesus Christ. The process for coming to Christ is given simply in Moroni 10, in what is often referred to as Moroni’s promise. We often view Moroni’s promise in a limited way, focusing on gaining a testimony of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon.  It is so much more than that.  It is literally the step by step process for putting off the natural man and becoming a saint through Jesus Christ and for always retaining a remission of our sins.

“Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall [1] read these things that ye would [2] remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things , and [3] ponder it in your hearts. And [4] when ye shall receive these things I would exhort you that ye would [5] ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost. [6] And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things. And whatsoever thing is good is just and true; wherefore, nothing that is good denieth the Christ, but acknowledgeth that He is. And ye may know that He is, by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore I would exhort you that ye [7] deny not the power of God, for He worketh by power, according to the faith of the children of men, the same today and tomorrow, and forever. And again, I exhort you, my brethren, that ye [7] deny not the gifts of God, for they are many; and they come from the same God.”

This, then, is the Lord’s pattern of power: 1) Read the words of Christ  2) Remember the Lord's mercies to all mankind and to me personally - this is the step we often skip, and it is crucial to strengthening the bond of love between ourselves and God the Father, God the Son, and the Holy Ghost.  3) Ponder deeply  4) Receive the doctrine, meaning to have it assimilated into my mind and to accept it as true and accurate, to believe 5) Ask through prayer to receive a witness of the Holy Ghost of the gospel principle  6) Ask through prayer for all knowledge I need, regarding any and all aspects of my life 7) Exercise faith in God's power, and 8) Exercise faith in God's gifts.

It is significant that Moroni exhorts us to deny not the power and gifts of God. Whenever we deny the power or gifts of God Satan wins. He uses two different tools in this attempt: pride and shame.  When Satan attacks with pride, he tells us (in a voice we often believe is our own) that God is not real, or that we do not need God, that we can succeed on our own power.  When Satan cannot convince us of this he switches tactics.  He whispers (again, in a voice we often mistake as our own) that we are irredeemably flawed, that God couldn’t possibly love us anymore, that if we turn to God we will be turned away.  That we do not deserve God’s love and forgiveness and assistance.  

It is true that we do not and cannot earn or deserve God’s love, forgiveness, and assistance, because it is a gift, freely given.  The only qualification to access Christ's enabling grace is to have a broken heart and contrite spirit, and to ask Him for His assistance.  Relying wholly on Christ develops the trust in Him which leads to confidence and hope. It is this history of loving closeness with God the Father and with Christ that binds us to Christ, that seals us to Him even as our hearts wander as fallen man.

I know that this process is a tender mercy which will deliver us because it has delivered me from sin and sorrow. I have struggled with obedience to the law of chastity since my preteen years. I first visited with a bishop about this as a young teen. I desired wholeheartedly to pure and temple worthy. Yet once sexual urges are given license it is incredibly difficult to harness them. Over years I progressed to other sins. After a long period of inactivity I returned to Christ and to the church, joyfully received my temple endowment, and was later married and sealed to Steve in the temple. Yet it was not until I hit bottom, feeling that I was powerless and that my life was unmanageable, that I truly yoked myself to Christ, experienced spiritual rebirth and became His daughter.  

In the book of Mosiah we read the experience of King Benjamin’s people as he taught of Jesus Christ who would come to redeem all mankind.

 “And now, it came to pass that when king Benjamin had made an end of speaking the words which had been delivered unto him by the angel of the Lord, that he cast his eyes round about on the multitude, and behold they had fallen to the earth, for the fear of the Lord had come upon them.

 And they had viewed themselves in their own carnal state, even less than the dust of the earth. And they all cried aloud with one voice, saying: O have mercy, and apply the atoning blood of Christ that we may receive forgiveness of our sins, and our hearts may be purified; for we believe in Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who created heaven and earth, and all things; who shall come down among the children of men.

 And it came to pass that after they had spoken these words the Spirit of the Lord came upon them, and they were filled with joy, having received a remission of their sins, and having peace of conscience, because of the exceeding faith which they had in Jesus Christ who should come, according to the words which king Benjamin had spoken unto them.” (Mosiah 4:1-3)  Their hearts had been changed through Jesus Christ.  King Benjamin then teaches them how to retain their change of heart.

 “And again I say unto you as I have said before, that as ye have come to the knowledge of the glory of God, or if ye have known of his goodness and have tasted of his love, and have received a remission of your sins, which causeth such exceedingly great joy in your souls, even so I would that ye should remember, and always retain in remembrance, the greatness of God, and your own nothingness, and his goodness and long-suffering towards you, unworthy creatures, and humble yourselves even in the depths of humility, calling on the name of the Lord daily, and standing steadfastly in the faith of that which is to come, which was spoken by the mouth of the angel.

 And behold, I say unto you that if ye do this ye shall always rejoice, and be filled with the love of God, and always retain a remission of your sins; and ye shall grow in the knowledge of the glory of him that created you, or in the knowledge of that which is just and true.” (Mosiah 4:11-12).

This has been my experience.  As I have learned how to come unto Christ and rely wholly on His merits (first) and mercy (second) I have received both joy and peace of conscience. Satan can no longer shame me or puff me up in pride because I glory in bringing my weakness to the Lord.  I am not sin-proof, but I am spiritually resilient. I have the humility to turn to the Lord as soon as I sin, confident that He will express His love for me and wash away my sins and sorrows and give me renewed strength to do the works of righteousness.  

Come unto Christ.  Feast on His word.  Write down the tender mercies He has given to you as proof of His love and fidelity, and the words of love and reassurance he speaks to you as you pray.  If necessary, come to the Bishop and experience Christ’s love and counsel through him as you work repentance together and come to be clean and confident before the Lord.  It is truly awesome.  

Elder Bednar concludes his talk with this witness “I promise that obedience to the law of chastity will increase our happiness in mortality and make possible our progress in eternity.”  I echo his promise, and say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.  

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The hymn we sung after my talk was #117, Come Unto Jesus. It perfectly reinforced the doctrine of my talk. I was especially struck by verse 2 "Come unto Jesus; He'll ever heed you though in the darkness you've gone astray. His love will find you and gently lead you from darkest night into day."

SOURCES and FURTHER READINGS

On teaching and protecting our children:

Protection From Pornography: A Christ Centered Home

Talking to Youth About Pornography

FHE Resource Book: Teaching about Procreation and Chastity  Note: Some great stuff but I consider the gendered teachings insufficient - boys must learn about menstruation so they can be respectful and considerate to the girls and women around them and to be able to help prevent or achieve pregnancy when married, and girls are just as susceptible to masturbation and pornography as boys and should be taught that having sexual urges is not shameful or unfeminine.

A Parent's Guide This manual is a comprehensive and helpful guide to age by age instruction of children.  I would caution that when reading the sections on gender that parents consider how gendered toys, interests, fashion and styling are not given by God, but are the product of multi-billion dollar industries, and that clothing, hair and makeup fashions have been very different throughout history and cultures.  Basically, don't shame your kids or ANYONE for liking and participating in things which are not considered the "norm" for their gender.  A boy loving pink sparkles and a girl fixing cars are not ungodly, but condemning them is.  *steps off soapbox*

On recovering through Jesus Christ:


He Did Deliver Me From Bondage The Book of Mormon based 12-step workbook which forever changed my life.  It is the most useful Book of Mormon study program I have ever encountered and is applicable to every single saint, not just addicts.

heart-t-heart an LDS 12-step group that predates the church's ARP.  I linked to the 12 steps page, which gives the original AA 12 steps and then the heart-t-heart scriptural version based on Book of Mormon verses.  Check it out, it's amazing. 

Recovering from the Trap of Pornography  Ensign article by Elder Oaks 


LDS Addiction Recovery Program The LDS church's official 12-step program

The Sacrament, A Renewal for the Soul  Conference talk on the power of the sacrament in our lives

The Atonement and the Journey of Mortality  Ensign reprint of BYU devotional on the enabling power of the atonement, ie. grace.

Always Retain a Remission of your Sins Conference talk by Elder Bednar

Counsel With the Lord In All Thy Doings

This is a sacrament talk I gave in October which I had not yet posted.  I have been recently reminded of the importance of its principles in my life.  

I’ve been asked to speak today on prayer, referencing the most recent General Conference.  The first talk, given by Sister Carol F. McConkie, First Counselor in the Young Women General Presidency, is entitled “Prayer Is The Soul’s Sincere Desire.”  The second talk, by Elder Juan A. Uceda of the Seventy, is called “The Lord Jesus Christ Teaches Us How to Pray.”

  Elder Uceda asks “When you pray, are you really praying or just saying prayers? Are you superficial with your prayers?” 

It is all too easy to get caught up in “vain repetitions” (Matthew 6:7) when we pray.  Sometimes, in our busy lives, praying can turn into a task to be marked off on our “church checklist.”  Sister McConkie reminds us that it can be so much more.“For us, miraculous healing, powerful protection, divine knowledge, liberating forgiveness, and precious peace are among the answers that come when we offer up a “soul’s sincere desire” in faith.”

As I prepared for this talk the Holy Ghost taught me much about how to pray and what to pray for, showing me through scripture another amazing blessing that comes from prayer.

In Nephi’s powerful final sermon he teaches the doctrine of Christ, the foundational principles which will lead to our salvation.  He begins by teaching the need for baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost.  Referring to those who have followed the commandments and received these ordinances he says this:  “And now, my beloved brethren, after ye have gotten into this strait and narrow path, I would ask if all is done? Behold, I say unto you, Nay; for ye have not come thus far save it were by the word of Christ with unshaken faith in him, relying wholly upon the merits of him who is mighty to save.

            Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men.  Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life. (2 Ne 31: 19-20)”

Nephi is teaching us that we already have what we need to gain eternal life; those things inspired us to be baptized and will lead us on to live with God again.   They are 1) the word of Christ (both written scripture and personal revelation) 2) unshaken faith in Jesus Christ, including a true, active belief that His atonement applies to us personally and 3) reliance on the merits, strength and power of Christ, which is known as grace. 

Later in his sermon he talks more specifically about the word of Christ “... feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all the things what ye should do (2 Ne 32:3).”

 The Nephite people likely did not have personal, individual copies of scripture.  So when Nephi tells the people to feast upon the word of Christ he was saying feast on communication with the Holy Spirit, on its inspiration and promptings.  Note that Nephi promises us that if we feast upon the words of Christ we will have eternal life. 

Alma speaking to his son Helaman, teaches this same doctrine.

"Yea, and cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever. 

 Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.” (Alma 37:36-37)

How we pray, and what we pray for, literally has the power to ensure our salvation.

Elder Uceda said"Jesus prayed intensely and spoke with His Father. “It came to pass, that Jesus also being baptized, and praying, the heaven was opened” ( Luke 3:21). When you pray, do you feel like heaven is opened? When was the last time you felt that connection with heaven?”

I’ve been studying the principles of the 12-step program as taught in the Book of Mormon with the help of a beautiful workbook called He Did Deliver Me From Bondage.  In this particular process each day there is a scripture from the Book of Mormon relating to that week’s step and a writing prompt to help participants “capture” the words of Christ which the Holy Ghost relays to them personally concerning the principle in their lives. 

Regarding our treatment of personal revelation, Elder Richard G. Scott has said “Inspiration carefully recorded shows God that His communications are sacred to us. Recording will also enhance our ability to recall revelation. Such recording of direction of the Spirit should be protected from loss or intrusion by others.”  The sacred process of writing out God’s words to me has deepened my communication with Him immensely. 

About a week ago I was studying Jacob 4:10, which says “Wherefore, brethren, seek not to counsel the Lord, but to take counsel from his hand. For behold, ye yourselves know that he counseleth in wisdom, and in justice, and in great mercy, over all his works.”  The prompt for this particular scripture is “To counsel means to give advice.  Often when we pray we seek more to advise the Lord in what we think He should do for us or others (“Dear Lord, please bless so-and-so that such-and-such will happen”), than to listen for His counsel or advice.  Write in the form of a question something that has been troubling you, addressing it to the Lord.  Then listen and record the answer you receive.”  

After I read the scripture and the prompt, I hesitated to do it.  I can’t even analyze or understand why, especially since writing questions to God and recording his answers has been a habit of mine for several years, off and on, but for some reason this one made me uneasy.  I think perhaps I didn’t want to face the despair I felt about certain issues.  Later that day, after the kids were in bed and I was getting ready for sleep, I pulled out my journal and wrote.  I’d like to read to you from that entry.

“Heavenly Father, what do I need to do to have meaningful peace? To have order?  Everything feels so chaotic.” And this is what God clearly told me. “Listen.”  And then He said “Pray every morning on your knees to recognize and follow ALL promptings of the spirit.”

In order to follow all the promptings of the Holy Ghost, I would need to surrender my will unto the Father, as Jesus Christ always did.  Elder Uceda discussed this characteristic of Christ in his talk "...today He teaches you and me to pray as we see Him in our minds praying in Gethsemane and saying, “Nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done” ( Luke 22:42 ). When you pray, do you really, truly want that “not my will, but thine, be done?"

How can we do that, surrender our will to God’s?  Sister McConkie teaches one valuable way.  “When we pray with faith, the Holy Ghost can guide our thoughts so that our words harmonize with the will of God.” If we pay attention to the Holy Ghost he will tell us what we should pray for in the very moment we are praying.

Coming back to my personal experience, I felt so grateful that God had given me such a small, simple but powerful direction.  So I started to do it, get out of bed onto my knees and ask that I could have the courage and strength through the grace of his atonement to recognize and follow all the promptings he would give me that day, because I knew without his power there was NO WAY I could do it.  I had been doing it for 4 days and was pretty pleased with the Lord and myself.  I felt so much gratitude for Him helping me do hard things.  I was sitting on the couch in the early evening and I noticed an impression from the Lord “get on your shoes and go for a run.”  To explain a little bit, I’d taken up triathlon after James was born, and lost a ton of weight and learned to really love running, but after I had William life got really crazy.  So I haven’t exercised regularly in 2 years, and I hadn’t gone for a run for 3 months.  So when God told me to go for a run I thought “really, God?”  And he said yes.  Just right then I remembered that we had a super late power bill and that our power was going to be cut off in a few days if I didn’t take care of it.  So I said to God “I’ll go for a run after I pay that bill.” I was hoping that maybe if I put it off a bit I could muster up the energy to go.  I got on the computer and I paid the bill, and I still didn’t really want to go run, so then I did some budgeting, and checked my email, and by then it was dark.  Ugh.  No good.  So I decided not to go for a run, but I felt really awful about it.   The next morning when I prayed, as always, for the grace to hear and obey his promptings, I asked for forgiveness.  “Father, I’m so sorry I didn’t obey that prompting yesterday.  I knew it was a prompting, and I just didn’t want to do it, and I’m so sorry.”  Then God said “It’s ok.  Get on your shoes and go for a run now.”  And I thought “Oh boy.”  I said “Father, I really, really want to do your will.  But I really, really don’t want to go for a run.  The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.  Please, please give me the grace to get up off my knees and change into running gear.  I cannot do it by myself. I’ll do it if you just give me the grace.”  And I knelt there for a bit, and then I got up and changed and went for a run, and it was wonderful.

President Eyring has said:“I have had prayers answered. Those answers were most clear when what I wanted was silenced by an overpowering need to know what God wanted. It is then that the answer from a loving Heavenly Father can be spoken to the mind by the still, small voice and can be written on the heart.”

Sister McConkie shared a quote by Melvin J. Ballard: “It is not only important that we shall know how to pray, but it is equally important that we shall know how to receive the answer to our prayer, to be discerning, to be alert, to be able to see with clear vision and understand with clear intention God’s will and purpose concerning us.”  It is for this reason that the Lord Jesus Christ, when teaching his disciples to pray, told them to “enter into thy closet.”  N. Eldon Tanner taught “First, as the Lord said, the door must be shut against the distractions of the world so that we may concentrate on what we are saying to our Father in heaven.” I would add, and concentrate on what He is saying to us.  This type of sacred, intense prayer is training with the Holy Ghost.  Such training strengthens our ability to communicate with God in such a way that we can maintain that link with Heaven even in moments of confusion, fear, noise, or emergency. 

Going back to the scripture by Nephi.  “...for ye have not come thus far save it were by the word of Christ with unshaken faith in him, relying wholly upon the merits of him who is mighty to save.”

(2 Ne 31:19)

As we pray with real intent, we engage with all three members of the Godhead as we speak to Heavenly Father, reminding ourselves of our relationship to him and acknowledging his supremacy; in the name of Jesus Christ as author of our salvation, advocate to the Father, and source of grace and healing; and through the Holy Ghost, who speaks the words of Christ, that we may have true two-way communication.   

It is through praying always (being constantly connected with and obedient to His Spirit, the Holy Ghost, which tells and shows us all things we should do) and relying wholly on the merits (power) and mercy (forgiveness) of Christ that we come to know and love God the Father and His Son, are born again, becoming a daughter or son of Christ, put off the natural man and become a saint, and receive eternal life. 

I would like to close with a quote from Sister McConkie’s talk.  “When the Lord comes again, will He find a people who know how to pray in faith and who are prepared to receive salvation? “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”  We are children of a loving Heavenly Father, and we may enjoy personal communion with Him when we pray “with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ”  and then act in accordance with the answers we receive by the promptings of the Holy Ghost. In faith we pray, we listen, and we obey, that we might learn to become one with the Father and the Son.” 

I add my testimony to hers, and say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.  

Moses and the Nothingness of Man

As part of my self-care for depression I have begun following the 12-step program as used by Heart-t-Heart, an organization created by LDS addicts which uses an adapted version of the original AA 12 steps. Their 12 steps incorporate specific gospel doctrines from the Book of Mormon, and include scripture references (you know how I love a good citation).

There is a wonderful book called He Did Deliver Me From Bondage which I have been using to guide my scripture study and work through the 12 steps. Step 1 is we admitted that we of ourselves are powerless, nothing without God (Mosiah 4:5, Alma 26:12). As I studied and wrote on today's scripture I had many powerful insights that helped resolve some of the frustrations and questions I've had regarding that phrase and idea, "the nothingness of man." What follows is my journaling and study.

Moses 1:10 “And it came to pass that it was for the space of many hours before Moses did again receive his natural strength like unto man; and he said unto himself: Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed.”

Prompt: Why do you suppose we resist relying on God's power and choose to lean, instead, on self and the answers the world provides?

*Sigh* My brain is swirling on this one, but it's hard to pin anything down.  I still struggle with the idea of man being nothing, because if we are creations of God, his literal spiritual children, how can we be nothing?

God takes Moses up to a high mountain, and talks to God face to face.  He teaches him these principles (v3-6): 1) God is Endless, 2) and Moses is his son.  3) God cannot show the entirety of his works to any man without them being translated (? doesn't seem consistent with Abraham, Nephi - needs further study). 4) Moses is in similitude of Christ 5) Christ IS AND SHALL BE the Savior, full of Grace and Truth 6)but there is no God beside God the Father, 7)who knows all things.

(v8) God then shows Moses the whole world, and "all the children of men which ARE and which WERE created."  Does this mean all of Father's spiritual children? Did Moses see me?  Or does it mean which had up to Moses' time been born on the earth?

v9 God's presence and glory leave Moses and he falls to the earth.

v10 After many hours Moses receives strength and then says "Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed."  Why did his encounter with God, who says Moses is his son, and his vision of the earth, leave him with the sense that man is nothing?  

v11 "But now mine own eyes have beheld God; but not my natural, but my spiritual eyes, FOR MY NATURAL EYES COULD NOT HAVE BEHELD; FOR I SHOULD HAVE WITHERED AND DIED IN HIS PRESENCE but his glory was upon me; and I beheld his face, for I was transfigured before him."   

*THE KEY IS UNDERSTANDING THE ABSOLUTE POWER OF GOD, and the temptation to worship fleshly things.   Because Moses knows he is not nothing, when Satan comes calling (v12-18) he rebukes Satan by claiming his spiritual birthright (v13) "Who art thou? For behold, I am a SON of GOD, in the similitude of His only Begotten; AND WHERE IS THY GLORY, THAT I SHOULD WORSHIP THEE?"

God has given Moses an understanding of God's real nature, Man's real nature, and therefore he (Moses) understands Satan's nature.  Despite the weird paradox of man being both nothing and a son of God, and how that seems to blow my mind, the understanding of that gives Moses a sure and true knowledge of who he is, and enables him to access God's power and wisdom and avoid Satan's snares.  Moses commands Satan to leave.

Satan then rants and cries with a loud voice (v19) and Moses begins to FEAR EXCEEDINGLY (v20) and sees the BITTERNESS OF HELL.  He calls upon God, receives strength, and commands Satan to leave.  (v21) He then commands Satan to leave in the name of the Only Begotten, and it is at that point that Satan does, in fact, with weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth, leave.  

So.  Back to the prompt. Why do we resist relying on God's power and choose to lean, instead on self and the answers the world provides?  Because we don't always remember our relationship to God, our inherent value as his children and our similarities to and shared experience with Christ, and because through Satan's power of FEAR we experience the bitterness of hell (separation from God).  It is this natural, carnal tendency to forget and disengage from God in the absence of continual, vigorous study and application of the Gospel of Jesus Christ which separates us from the power and mercy of God.  

I've come to really dislike it when we as saints use the phrase "the world."  We often say it somewhat dismissively, cordoning ourselves as LDS people off as Zion and all other people as "the world."  It's prideful and deceptive.  I’ve come to feel that a more useful phrasing would be either “temporal influences” or “Satan’s influence,” depending upon which is applicable.  Because, often, philosophies, programs, products, medications, are neutral.  It is the use to which they are put which enters the spiritual realm.  Am I using cognitive behavioral tools with a grateful heart, under the influence of the spirit, to assist me in my discipleship?  Those tools then become consecrated, holy, in that use.  Or am I using them in an effort to attempt to solve my problems on my own, bolster my pride, appear to be powerful and capable of myself, all the while denying God the opportunity to strengthen, uplift and direct me?  Those same tools are then being used for evil.  Essentially, the question becomes is it the arm of flesh or the arm of the spirit I am using to choose and wield the tools available in the world?

He Did Deliver Me from Bondage, and the 12 steps of Heart t' Heart, are helping me to retain that remission of sins and rely on the arm of the spirit. I am so, so grateful for these tools which have helped me stay engaged with the gospel daily. I highly recommend Colleen's book He Did Deliver Me From Bondage to ALL latter-day saints, not just those who knowingly struggle with addictive or compulsive behaviors, because at its heart it is a simple, lovely way to bring us to the Savior of the World. Because, indeed, it is not only those whose lives have become unmanageable due to compulsive addictive behaviors who are powerless without God, and need Him, and need to understand how much they need Him and what he can truly do for and with us; those things are true of all humankind.

Info On He Did Deliver Me From Bondage
Info on Heart t' Heart, an LDS community based 12-step recovery program 

The Bowels of Mercy and the Body of Christ

I recently gave a talk in church, at my request, on a topic of my choosing.  I am sharing it here as a tribute to those who are mourning the loss of loved ones to violence, and who are striving to create a just and peaceful society.  I pray that I can publish peace.  

My favorite scripture is Alma 7:11-12 and speaks of Christ.  “And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.  And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities.” 

It’s difficult to describe my feelings about this scripture.  It fills me with awe that a perfect, sinless man with power over death and pain would choose to experience pain, affliction, temptation, sickness, and death.  It also fills me with hope and gratitude.  I have reflected on this scripture after the unexpected death of my younger sister, during childbirth, while struggling with temptation to return to sins from my past, and when severely depressed and suicidal.  What a beautiful mystery that Christ truly knows and understands me, that somehow he felt the pains of all humanity, and specifically of women. 

Recently as I studied the account of Christ’s experience in Gethsemane I noticed some interesting details.  I will read from the Mark 14 version. 

32 And they came to a place which was named Gethsemane: and he saith to his disciples, Sit ye here, while I shall pray.

 33 And he taketh with him Peter and James and John, and began to be sore amazed, and to be very heavy;

 34 And saith unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful unto death: tarry ye here, and watch.

Let’s pause here to consider for a moment.  Jesus took all the apostles to the garden, but brought only Peter, James, and John, those closest to him and the future leadership of the church, into the garden with him.  Then he begins the work of the atonement, and notice the phrasing, he “began to be sore amazed.”  Experiencing the sensations of fallen man took him by surprise.  He felt fear for the first time.  He then asks Peter, James and John to stay with him and watch.  Why?  Is it because he wants companionship in his suffering?  I believe that’s true, but only a part of the reason.  Continuing in Mark:

 35 “And he went forward a little, and fell on the ground, and prayed that, if it were possible, the hour might pass from him.

 36 And he said, Abba, Father, all things are possible unto thee; take away this cup from me: nevertheless not what I will, but what thou wilt.

 37 And he cometh, and findeth them sleeping, and saith unto Peter, Simon, sleepest thou? Couldest not thou watch one hour?

 38 Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter into temptation. The spirit truly is ready, but the flesh is weak.”

What temptation would they enter into by not watching and praying?  I believe it is the temptation to turn away from other’s suffering.

 39 And again he went away, and prayed, and spake the same words.

 40 And when he returned, he found them asleep again, (for their eyes were heavy,) neither wist they what to answer him.

His most beloved and committed friends were unable to stay awake and watch with him, and they didn’t know what to say to him.  After this he prays one more time.  Only the Father can succor him in this.  

Lorin K. Hansen describes this part of the atonement.  

“It is not Jesus suffering per se that redeems men and women.  Suffering has an effect on him, and it is that effect or change that makes possible human redemption. The power of redemption comes through his expanded knowledge and sensitivity, which he then expresses through his role as mediator…the atonement not only reconciled humanity to God but God to humanity.”

           In an article in BYU studies quarterly entitled “Bowels of Mercy” John Durham Peters expounds on this concept of following Christ in his willingness to suffer with others.

To feel the pain of others is physically impossible but morally imperative.  How can humans break out of the shell of private sorrow?  …  The problem of mortal life, for Amulek, is that all are hardened and thus destined to perish (Alma 34:9). “Hardening” suggests many things – to harden in pride, in sin, in will—but all of these suggest the hardening of the self.  Hardening might be precisely the quality of individuality that makes every person solely responsible for his or her own sins and immune to the sufferings of others.  If we persist in our hardness, according to Amulek, our pain is destined to be absolutely incommunicable.  If not, then we have the opportunity to encounter a being, Christ, who can bridge the gap…Christ died, then, in part, to save us from ourselves.  One purpose of the Atonement is to soften us, to make us able to feel viscerally each other’s sorrows.

By suffering infinitely, Christ brought about the bowels of mercy in many respects.  Consider the climactic verse of Amulek’s great discourse in Alma 34:15; “This being the intent of this last sacrifice, to bring about the bowels of mercy, which overpowereth justice, and bringeth about means unto men [and women] that they may have faith unto repentance.”  Attention has been focused on the marvelously suggestive notion of providing “means for faith unto repentance,” but perhaps the even more important phrase in this passage is “the bowels of mercy.”  Whose bowels these are is wonderfully unclear.  These bowels of mercy are “brought about” on many levels—for God the Father surveying the sinful human family, for God the Son pleading for them, and for penitent people, who recognizing the mercy they have received, are able to break through the self-enclosure of pain and succor others.

This, I think, is one of the meanings of Christ’s injunction given to the Nephites – “And ye shall offer a sacrifice unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit” (3 Nephi 9:20).  Until this week I have thought that broken heart referred to sorrow for my sins, and for my contribution through my sins to the suffering of Christ.  Yet that experience is covered through the phrase “contrite spirit.”  I believe a more powerful kind of broken heart is the heart that is broken with the pain and suffering of others, the one that has truly and wholly, through the mysterious and glorious atonement of Christ, mourned with those that mourn (Mosiah 18:9). 

            In a devotional in February 2015 entitled “Ye Are the Body of Christ,” Professor Greg Klingler, a Physician’s Assistant and professor in the BYU-I Department of Health, described an experience which helped him better understand the call to go to the rescue.  A young woman named Emily had suffered for years with severe abdominal pain despite medical tests and treatment.  After prayerful consideration and medical examination Brother Klinger ordered tests and Emily received surgery which restored her to completely normal function.  After describing this experience, he goes on to say:

When one part of the body is afflicted, the whole body feels it, and we are not whole until all members of the body are whole.

In Corinthians chapter 12, the Apostle Paul uses the body as an analogy to refer the church of Christ.

“For by one Spirit are we all baptized into one body, whether we be Jews or Gentiles, whether we be bond or free. For the body is not one member, but many. If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? And if they were all one member, where were the body? But now are they many members, but one body.”

When we are baptized we become a member of the body of Christ. Each member of the body is given important gifts, and talents. Some taste, some hear. Some are eyes, and some are hands. God set the members, “every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him.”

Going back to Corinthians: “And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you. And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.”

When Emily had gallbladder disease, her hands were fine. Her eyes, ears, mouth, and her cognitive functions were perfect… Could I have said, ‘because your gallbladder is afflicted, but your eyes are fine, I am going to forget about the gallbladder and all of its problems and care for the eyes? Of course not!

In fact we learn it is upon those members of the body that are in need that we give more care.

“And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness.

For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked.”

Do you see the vision? When one of us suffer, we all suffer. We are not whole until every member is whole.

Many times I have gone to those that are wounded and approached these individuals with the attitude of ‘I love you. And because I love you, I want you to feel of the blessings I feel through obedience.’ Although that may be the case, that is not the doctrine that will lead to significant change in that person’s life. The doctrine is this: when you were baptized you became a member of the body of Christ. You are part of His body and I am part of the body. We need the gifts and talents, only you bring. We need you like our own bodies need the hands, feet, eyes, and ears. And we, the body, are not whole without you.

To those able and willing to go to the rescue, this will be our message, ‘We love you, the Lord loves you, and we need you.’ 

Elder Robert C. Gay, of the first quorum of the seventy, spoke at BYU graduation last year about embracing the marginalized. 

Today we have great divisions before us. Within and without the Church there exist real stumbling blocks. Outside we are pressed daily by violence, invasion of individual liberty, discrimination, poverty, immorality, disease and so much more. Inside the Church many struggle to reconcile and understand same-gender attraction, the role of women, or certain Church doctrines or history. Many struggle with doubt, lack of confidence or resources, zealousness, commitment, meeting schedules, leaders who offend, friends or children who stray, prayers that seem unanswered, and broken trusts through emotional, physical or sexual abuse.

Some would like to ignore or diminish these issues by contending with those that challenge our orthodoxy; or by delivering dismissive sermons; or by saying to those that struggle temporally or spiritually with doubt or depression to “just be patient, things will work out.” The Lord, however, expects much more of us than words. He expects our personal ministry despite discomfort or any personal rejection. He expects an outreach of charity. He expects us to go into the “highways and byways” of people’s lives and to bring them to the Sacred Grove and to Gethsemane and Calvary.

The scriptures teach us that Jesus showed forth “an increase of love” to those He rebuked and to those that denied Him. Against norms, he dined with sinners and ministered to the outcast, the grieved, and unbeliever. There is nothing that has more power to affect our lives than the pure love of Christ, which is charity. Charity, looks beyond self, choosing to “bear” and “endure all things.” If we live without charity, if we live indifferently, our Heavenly Father says “[we] are nothing.” That is, we live a life of vanity. 

As described in John, the night of the Atonement began with the Savior commanding the disciples to make and renew a covenant to always remember and honor His sacrifice. He then knelt down and washed the feet of those who would in a few short hours betray Him, deny Him or fall asleep in His most needed hour. He never condemned for this but exhorted them to be one with Him; to forgive; to wash the feet of others; and to love their neighbors as He loved them. He asked that we raise our vision to His vision.

Can you see that the great charge of the Atonement is to love as He loved?

To love those who betray, who offend, who fall asleep, who deny, who doubt, who are zealous and cut off an ear with a sword or a heart with a harsh deed; to be longsuffering with those who will not hear and who will not love back.

I keep in a frame on the wall in my home office these words of Elbert Hubbard: “God will not look you over for medals, degrees or diplomas but for scars.”

This is the pattern that Jesus places before us as we work to do His work to lift others: we will be called upon to suffer innocently, if we are to achieve what He needs us to achieve as His light before men.

I would like to close by further quoting Elder Gay.  I add my testimony and prayer to his and pray that I may be led to comfort those who stand in need of comfort.

As you leave this [meeting today], may you do so with the resolve to live as a witness for Christ by letting your light “shine before [humankind].” May you know that this will require you to “hear Him” and to bear with love the outcast, the enemy, the marginalized. May you understand that this is not a journey into the known but the unknown—it is a path of faith and integrity to the voice of the Holy Ghost that ultimately demands your sacrifice to be more than just good or less sinful, but to become holy and consecrated.

I say these things in the name of our Savior, even Jesus Christ, Amen.