As part of my self-care for depression I have begun following the 12-step program as used by Heart-t-Heart, an organization created by LDS addicts which uses an adapted version of the original AA 12 steps. Their 12 steps incorporate specific gospel doctrines from the Book of Mormon, and include scripture references (you know how I love a good citation).
There is a wonderful book called He Did Deliver Me From Bondage which I have been using to guide my scripture study and work through the 12 steps. Step 1 is we admitted that we of ourselves are powerless, nothing without God (Mosiah 4:5, Alma 26:12). As I studied and wrote on today's scripture I had many powerful insights that helped resolve some of the frustrations and questions I've had regarding that phrase and idea, "the nothingness of man." What follows is my journaling and study.
Moses 1:10 “And it came to pass that it was for the space of many hours before Moses did again receive his natural strength like unto man; and he said unto himself: Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed.”
Prompt: Why do you suppose we resist relying on God's power and choose to lean, instead, on self and the answers the world provides?
*Sigh* My brain is swirling on this one, but it's hard to pin anything down. I still struggle with the idea of man being nothing, because if we are creations of God, his literal spiritual children, how can we be nothing?
God takes Moses up to a high mountain, and talks to God face to face. He teaches him these principles (v3-6): 1) God is Endless, 2) and Moses is his son. 3) God cannot show the entirety of his works to any man without them being translated (? doesn't seem consistent with Abraham, Nephi - needs further study). 4) Moses is in similitude of Christ 5) Christ IS AND SHALL BE the Savior, full of Grace and Truth 6)but there is no God beside God the Father, 7)who knows all things.
(v8) God then shows Moses the whole world, and "all the children of men which ARE and which WERE created." Does this mean all of Father's spiritual children? Did Moses see me? Or does it mean which had up to Moses' time been born on the earth?
v9 God's presence and glory leave Moses and he falls to the earth.
v10 After many hours Moses receives strength and then says "Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed." Why did his encounter with God, who says Moses is his son, and his vision of the earth, leave him with the sense that man is nothing?
v11 "But now mine own eyes have beheld God; but not my natural, but my spiritual eyes, FOR MY NATURAL EYES COULD NOT HAVE BEHELD; FOR I SHOULD HAVE WITHERED AND DIED IN HIS PRESENCE but his glory was upon me; and I beheld his face, for I was transfigured before him."
*THE KEY IS UNDERSTANDING THE ABSOLUTE POWER OF GOD, and the temptation to worship fleshly things. Because Moses knows he is not nothing, when Satan comes calling (v12-18) he rebukes Satan by claiming his spiritual birthright (v13) "Who art thou? For behold, I am a SON of GOD, in the similitude of His only Begotten; AND WHERE IS THY GLORY, THAT I SHOULD WORSHIP THEE?"
God has given Moses an understanding of God's real nature, Man's real nature, and therefore he (Moses) understands Satan's nature. Despite the weird paradox of man being both nothing and a son of God, and how that seems to blow my mind, the understanding of that gives Moses a sure and true knowledge of who he is, and enables him to access God's power and wisdom and avoid Satan's snares. Moses commands Satan to leave.
Satan then rants and cries with a loud voice (v19) and Moses begins to FEAR EXCEEDINGLY (v20) and sees the BITTERNESS OF HELL. He calls upon God, receives strength, and commands Satan to leave. (v21) He then commands Satan to leave in the name of the Only Begotten, and it is at that point that Satan does, in fact, with weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth, leave.
So. Back to the prompt. Why do we resist relying on God's power and choose to lean, instead on self and the answers the world provides? Because we don't always remember our relationship to God, our inherent value as his children and our similarities to and shared experience with Christ, and because through Satan's power of FEAR we experience the bitterness of hell (separation from God). It is this natural, carnal tendency to forget and disengage from God in the absence of continual, vigorous study and application of the Gospel of Jesus Christ which separates us from the power and mercy of God.
I've come to really dislike it when we as saints use the phrase "the world." We often say it somewhat dismissively, cordoning ourselves as LDS people off as Zion and all other people as "the world." It's prideful and deceptive. I’ve come to feel that a more useful phrasing would be either “temporal influences” or “Satan’s influence,” depending upon which is applicable. Because, often, philosophies, programs, products, medications, are neutral. It is the use to which they are put which enters the spiritual realm. Am I using cognitive behavioral tools with a grateful heart, under the influence of the spirit, to assist me in my discipleship? Those tools then become consecrated, holy, in that use. Or am I using them in an effort to attempt to solve my problems on my own, bolster my pride, appear to be powerful and capable of myself, all the while denying God the opportunity to strengthen, uplift and direct me? Those same tools are then being used for evil. Essentially, the question becomes is it the arm of flesh or the arm of the spirit I am using to choose and wield the tools available in the world?
He Did Deliver Me from Bondage, and the 12 steps of Heart t' Heart, are helping me to retain that remission of sins and rely on the arm of the spirit. I am so, so grateful for these tools which have helped me stay engaged with the gospel daily. I highly recommend Colleen's book He Did Deliver Me From Bondage to ALL latter-day saints, not just those who knowingly struggle with addictive or compulsive behaviors, because at its heart it is a simple, lovely way to bring us to the Savior of the World. Because, indeed, it is not only those whose lives have become unmanageable due to compulsive addictive behaviors who are powerless without God, and need Him, and need to understand how much they need Him and what he can truly do for and with us; those things are true of all humankind.
Info On He Did Deliver Me From Bondage
Info on Heart t' Heart, an LDS community based 12-step recovery program
